Finally...Justice!

My dear friend Ashleigh and I were putting gas in my car when we were rudely disturbed by some "ladies" filling up their tank. These girls were obviously intoxicated and Ashleigh and I rolled our eyes willing my tank to fill up faster. The girls flaunted around the gas station and flung themselves onto (not into) their purple sports car. I maybe would have understood the flailing if they had been trying to attract male attention, but there were no men to be found...? I can't figure any other reason why a female would fling herself at a huge metal object, but I guess I'm reasoning with a mind absent of alcohol and thus don't understand the logic of her decision. The girls roared off and I grabbed my receipt. And then, Ashleigh and I saw flashing lights ahead. We looked at eachother and burst into laughter; ha it was the purple car girls!!! Speeding while intoxicated? I drove by slowly and rejoiced in their fate. We laughed about it for miles. Maybe when the officer asks them to step out of the car they can try throwing themselves at it to see if it helps lower the ticket. If I were the cop I'd ticket them for injury to personal property. I'd ticket them for everything I could. Ticket, ticket, ticket. I'd be an awful cop.

Peace Corps Update

Peace Corps supplies Newsweek to all Peace Corps volunteers serving overseas. How fabulous is that? I truly enjoy Newsweek, but I feel a little sad that PC isn't providing The Economist instead. You see, I love the Economist. But, a subscription to the magazine for one year is like a hundred and fifty dollars; hence I've never had the pleasure of The Economist on a weekly basis. There is nothing better than reading it with a nice cup of coffee. It is a beautiful thing; coffee and the Economist. I love the way the dark flavors from foreign nations dance accross my tongue as I read about Global Politics. I read The E. from beginning to end. Not in one sitting of course, but I don't like to bounce around. It's unnatural to me and I can't stand it. The only time I read an article out of order is when I am standing in line at the grocery store. And only then when I want to read an article that is screaming out to me, but would never buy. You know, one of those STAR magazines or Gossip deals that at times you are secretly interested in but would never buy because "you are better than that." You know that magazine. It's the one where you glance around before you pull it off the shelf to be sure no one is watching before you read dumb stuff about Britney Spears. And if someone you know walk up while you are reading it you give a smirk and a laugh and say, "can you believe people write this stuff? And even crazier that people read it. Come on..." and the other person laughs before they go to a different line and grab the same magazine so they can read up on the untrue gossip. The other time I skip around is when the article is truly dumb. Like when the article is a "Dear Helen" kind of thing. Where the questions written in go like this, "Dear Helen, I'm a vegetarian but your magazine says Veggies give me cancer; what do I eat?"or "I'm in love with my boss who is married, what shoudl I do?" I aslo don't read the "special workout pages." These ones go like this. "Standing in line?!! Do some squats to work on thos hamstrings and gluts!" yah right, I can see myself squatting in Starbucks as I wait for my Venti White Mocha. Come on, if I squat I'm liable to rip my pants.

The First Photo!

Don't judge me; I'm new at this digital camera thing. Let me tell you how it began. First I grabbed my HUGE bag of pamphlets, guides, and cords. Then I separated the thousands of guides into an English and a Spanish section. I don't speak Spanish very well, but for some silly reason I'm not ready to throw them away... So then I have a tangle of cords and ONE diagram that says, "Attach the supplied interface cable to the computer's USB port and the camera's DIGITAL Terminal." Then they show a picture. Hullo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need a step by step guide here. I can't be the only person in the world who can't figure this out. For the love the picture didn't match my camera. Come on people! My Dad found the "terminal" and I attached the USB thing, to the USB spot on the lap top. Fabulous. So now, I have a fabulous photo of my niece Marcela engaging in one of her favorite activities, "Washin' Dishes." So now, if I ever have a squashed a beetle in my bathroom and it scurries around being nasty, I'll take a photo of it and share it with you.

Its been said...

that my blog is not as "interesting" as other blogs due to my lack of pictures. Well, I will have you all know that I purchased a digital camera. It is truly fabulous! Which means that I will post a picture of something random once I figure it out. And once I have time...which has been seriously lacking these days, it will be done. But, I have been spending copious amounts of time with my nieces and they are worth more than figuring out blog pictures, so yeah. Enjoy my words, or at least put up with them; but you came to me so I'm not apologizing. Due to the title of my blog I better put something foreign in here. On the flight to Moscow the girl next to me got motion sickness. I normally do really well, but the puking next to me put me in poor spirits. And then this super annoying girl wouldn't stop talking the WHOLE way. Later on she became my roommate and I liked her. Have you heard the quote, "Silence is golden, other times it is just plain yellow."? This was Not one of those times. Silence would have been golden, but I failed to receive such a luxury. I'm flying into tundra Russia next to a girl who is sharing whatever she ate in Germany with me. Sick. Save it. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I embrace structure.

Today I experienced an amazing sale; so was everyone else. And, for some reason this really bothered me. So, my sister and I got in line. How does one choose which line to get in? Really? I normally take an intense look at the cashiers and narrow it down to my favorite two. I then narrow it still down by looking at the massive amounts of stuff engulfing the arms of the people whom have also chosen these cashiers. This reasoning normally fails me and I end up annoyed at the defectiveness of this system. And today I picked the wrong line. I figured this out due to the fact that a woman was enrolling in a credit card and there was a problem. The cashier turned her back on us as she dialed. I immediatly began to feel irate. What is the problem and WHO decides to open a credit card on sale day; as if we aren't saving enough... Hence the sale.... but no, let's keep on saving and holding up the whole line. But then I notice that other lines are going faster. Not ok with me. And then it hit me. I'm going to Eastern Europe. Yeah, sometimes you go through the lines and they just stare at you. One lady stared at me until she finally asked me if I was from Finland. I wanted to say yes; Finland carries less baggage than the US. And, they don't have sales. Flat rate, carry over from the U.S.S.R days. And bread lines. Maybe my sale here isn't so bad. Maybe waiting isn't so bad. Maybe I'll learn patience in the Peace Corps. Ha maybe; it's a given.

Small Spaces

I'm not one for small spaces. You see, as a young girl I got stuck in an elevator. I was with my Aunt and Unlce but I was still freaked out. So we have established that I don't like elevators in America, so let me transport you to Russia. First off Russia does not have the law of torts; you can't sue for falling down icy stairs... This means that owners of buildings do not have to keep the elevators in running order and henceforth the "help me I'm stuck button" doesn't work. First off they are SMALL, and they have gum stuck everywhere. The smell is awful; try not the breathe. Melting ice will do that once it festers in an elevator for years. Some of the buttons don't work, and as a single woman I'm putting myself in harms way if a drunk man decides to engage in some elevator entertainment. This is the alternative: stairs. You might think duh, this is the better idea, but let me inform you of Russian stairs. First off, their are absolutely NO lights; why spend money on keeping them lit? The idea when building the apartments was to build a big shoot down the side so that everyone could throw their garbage down. Good idea, but no cleanliness laws. Henceforth garbage collects through this shoot creating and awful smell and excellent fodder for rats. Big rats! but this is the problem, the rats aren't afraid of you! I shudder just thinking about them. They have long tails and fleshy bodies with course hair. I can hear the teeth chewing on nasty bits of food. The halls were so narrow that I had to step over them in order to leave the building. So, I risk my life dying in an elevator or worse yet rape. Or I experience the dining of rats. I chose the rats. But I hated it. Blindly you walk through the stairways hoping that if you kick one they move quickly; away from you. It was awful to walk through the dark and hear them scurry. I absolutley loved Russia, but not this part of it. Not this awful way to live. Post-Soviet Russia. Let's rebuild, but how? It's issues like this that intrigue me and pull me towards economic development. Global Social Justice.

Blessings Abound

Medical stuff for the Peace Corps has been awful, but NOT because of my Dr. or the nurses. On the contrary, they have been wonderful as I have made trip after trip to see them. I have been poked, prodded, stuck and swabbed countless times. And it is costly. BUT, we got the bill and you guessed it. The Dr. had written everything off. We don't owe a thing. Can you believe it??? I think this is one of those things where if you are walking in the will of God, He blesses you. Amazing!

It's up to God now.

Well, it always was, but my medical package has been sent in and all I can do is wait. The estimated wait is 4 to 8 weeks. I'm REALLY hoping that I can be cleared quicker than that. Based on my history with the whole medical thing, who knows how long this clearance thing should take. I'm glad that Reggie and Angel are coming next week so that I can think about them and NOT the slow medical process.

P.S. If you have lip implants or collagen injected into your lips to make them fuller; can you still get a fat lip?

I dislike bugs with hard shells

You see, I was in the shower when a shadow flashed by. For a split second I was petrified, what could be in my bathroom? I owed my over-reaction to my obsession with CSI. Instead of an intruder I found our cat Cinnamon playing with a large beetle like bug in my bathroom. Yuck! Home invasion; so I ran to my room and grabbed a flip-flop and slammed it a top the large bug. Splat! I heard it squish! But, what I found when I returned to the loo was quite comical indeed! I had managed to squish the bottom third of the bug so its body drug on the ground, but magically missed all its legs. It scurried around while Cinnamon flipped it over and batted it around. I realized I had a decesion to make. Now that I am joining the Peace Corps, did that mean I had to be nice and peaceful at all times? Nope. When Cinnamon finished her game of "Scurry Bug" I had one thing left to do. I grabbed an empty role of toilet paper and jammed it at the bug. I felt the massive beetle shell break more than heard it. I felt it in the back of my throat and I wanted to gag. Sick, but now I had a bigger problem. Apparently this beetle had exremely sticky guts because it was stuck between the role and the floor. I gave it a little shake and its body swung up and attached to the role. I sent it flying into the waste basket because I wasn't willing to attempt to shake it off into the toilet. I can only imagine Ukrainian beetles.

Here we go again...

I thought as I pulled into the Dr's office parking lot. This was like my thousandth time and by now I'm on a first name basis with most nurses. Seriously, I plan on sending them a post card. So I stood at the counter trying not to touch anything that could have a germ on it when the old un-named nurse stared down her nose at me. I'm sure any germ that dared venture near her would whither with one hard look. Apparently Hep-B shots aren't regular because when I told her the reason for my visit she put her pen down, put her hands on the table with her fingers making a Teepee and stared at me. "Why Hep-B?" After fully explaining my life, she asked for my insurance card. "It's supposed to be gray you know. You should get a new one. I'm sure if you just call you could get a new one. Is it through your Mom or Dad? They'll just send you a new one...if you just call...they'll send you a new one..." She wasn't going to stop so I pulled out paper and a pen and started writing it down. She stared at me as I did this. "Just a new card sweetie, just call..." Thanks, cause I'm sure I'll need that new gray card in the Ukraine. And so it went, I got my vaccine. Such a pity I didn't catch the nurses name...

Oooooooooooops!

Normally I don't mind driving the speet limit. It's just another rule I must adhere to in order to live in this country. But, there is something about making eye contact with the person passing you. It's that smirk that tells you they think they are better than you because they are passing you and won't get caught. So, due to road rage I listen to music. But, oh yes, I do have a problem with this to. You see I'm normally an extroverted person, but not this time. There is something about turning the radio loud, singing your guts out, and the person in the other lane staring at you. And you know, that they know, that you aren't just talking on the phone with blue tooth. It's intimate, it's wrong; stop looking at me! So, I've turned to books on CD. This way my brain can use all facets of imagination while staring at the road straight ahead. In honor of my Memorial Day visit to my Grandma I purchased a murder mystery book on CD. You see, it was the third book in the series and I was quite caught up with the characters. Somebody was dead, Temperance was locked in the morgue and I couldn't hear fast enough. I clicked my phone on silent fearing parental interruption and focused on the book. I listened to the remaining CD of the book in rapt attention. An hour later the book came to a fabulous close, and I began to look at my surroundings. "Now," I thought with a silly shake of my head, "Let's just hope I didn't miss my exit!" I realized that I had when I saw the sign, "Welcome to Missouri." I'm from Nebraska! This is terrible! Not only was my book finished, I had gone hours out of my way, and I had to drive all the way home sans book. At this point my disposition was vile and I turned on a CD and sung away.

The Russian's Sense of Hat Style

When your eye balls freeze and you can't blink, you know you are in Russia. Hence the fur hats. These hats can get REALLY expensive! Different animals, of course make different dead animal fur hats, which of course cost more or less depending on the animal. And Dad's hat STINKS! Some established women had the nastiest hats! For instance, these women looked like they were wearing road kill, and smelled like it to. Imagine frozen animal hat melting on a hot bus. While you are trying to breathe through your mouth you can see little ice crystals dangling from long animal hairs. And, as the bus slips and slides on ice the little droplets sway and swing coming daringly close to falling on my own non smelly Finnish looking hat. Ahhhhhhhhhhh, for the most part the hats were truly beautiful.

How to eat a pizza...

When you pick out which piece of pizza you want, do you grab small ones so that you can have two, or do you grab one large piece? Well, I didn't care as I ate my pizza tonight. We had a celebatory dinner in honour of ALL the Millers coming to visit. YEAH! I can hardly handle myself! I am so excited to have both Reggie and Angel here at the same time! And Marcela gets to come with Harmony, how exciting! Time just can't come quick enough for me. I am so excited; I had almost lost hope. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I can't wait to play with my lil girls!

Morocco, North Africa

My favorite part of Morocco was the food! It was fabulous. I would love to go back.

Clinical Issues

Today was not a good day. I spent the day in a clinic awaiting my required HIV test. I arrived at 2:00 pm and was told that my results would not be ready until 5:30. A big deal being as I live over an hour away from the clinic. So I spent the day sitting in Barnes and Noble with a book and journal. I then went into the clinic at 5:40. (I waited ten minutes so I wouldn't "rush" the shift change.) I finally got my results, HIV-negative, at 7:30 p.m. Oh yes, the clinic CLOSED at 7. It was fabulous. They closed up the place and as the lady was leaving told us it was a mid-night clinic. "Oh brilliant," I thought. Ooops, I said it out loud. I don't think the lady likes me that much, but I still don't like her. I complained and I was told that I couldn't just take my results in an envelope because patients were finding out that they were HIV Positive and then doing nothing about it. So now it is protocol for everyone to sit with a doctor to find out their results. So I had to wait 5 1/2 hours for a doctor to hand me my sheet of paper and say, "You are free to go." Ugh, the trial of trying to serve overseas!

Peace Corps Update

Well, I am supposed to leave for the Ukraine August 20th, but it doesn't look like I will make that date. It has taken me three weeks to get all my medical stuff done and after tomorrow I will have completed all I can. I need to be medically cleared by mid July. If I miss my cut off I should still be in an Eastern Europe country, but not Ukraine. This also means that I will be leavivng in September instead of August.

I hate these things!

This is me trying to get over my phobia. It was a wall full of dead flying bugs! SICK! The picture couldn't be taken quick enough! I hate butterflies! I even hate typing the word. YUCKY!

I Survived!

Hello Dear Ones! Somehow, I made it through Women of Faith. I must admit that Patsy Clairmont is a crack up hilarious woman! I did NOT come home with a Pink Butterfly T-shirt, a feel good book, or a Contagious Health cookbook. Or a Women of Faith credit card, of which I am opposed. I DID enjoy the musical renditions of Avalon. Luci Swindoll won me over when she mentioned her passion for travelling, although she lost me with her obsession for stickers. So, is it a ministry or a business? A credit card? Pop corn, Dip and Dots, Nachos and funnel cakes... I felt like I was at a circus. But, I won't deny the presence of the Lord; of this I am certain. Yet, surrounded by blubbering, bladder filled women my last nerve felt quite tight and near breakage point. The "Excuse me, I hope I'm not a problem" woman climbing over me every hour did bother me. And cell phones... Either I wasn't programmed for thousands of women keeping me company, or satan had turned them into "buzzards" and I was missing the point. Next year they should sell Women of Faith Water-proof mascara. These women would buy it. Not having children and being under the age of 40 I was lost amongst women speaking of mamograms and childbirth. If I saw a man wandering around I felt indignant of his testosterone! What on earth was man flesh doing here? But forgiveness was quick as I was bumbed once again by an overwieght woman filled with abundant joy. Did I leave Women of Faith full of joy? Perhaps not, but am I glad I went? Yes. Did I come away uplifted? Certaintly. Will I make this an annual event? No. Will I go again? Of course. Will I treasure this memory? Always. Will I go if Kathy Troccoli is the singer? Absolutely not.

Women of Faith

It's true; I'm going. I'll give my feelings about that later.